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"
My grief turned to rage. What the hell do you mean there’s nothing more you can do, I thought. I reached out and grabbed the lapels of his white coat and pulled him with-in inches of my angry face. "Now you listen to me, as far as you’re concerned that woman in there is the president of the United States, you hear me. She’s the fucking president and you’re going to save her."
Just then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked to see Allen and Kris standing next to me. "We’re so sorry, Brent," Allen told me, "but it won’t do any good to threaten the doctors, it’s out of their hands now."
I let go of the doctor who was still sympathetic and held no grudge for my outburst. "I’m so sorry," he said. He held my shoulder in a comforting way, then walked on.
They stopped the treatments and let Sandy rest in the hospital. I could see her getting weaker and losing ground every day but continued to be the staunch optimist telling her she was going to get better.
On the sixth day I sat next to Sandy’s bed holding her hand when she looked into my eyes and asked me to take her home. I called Ron to let him know and arranged for Hospice. By four o’clock that afternoon I had Sandy comfortably lying in her own bed. Ron moved into the spare bedroom. He still ran the studio during the day but was there with me every night to help with her every need.
One late afternoon, only a few days after bringing her home, Sandy asked me to take her out to the swing. She said God had told her he was going paint a wonderful sunset just for her. I picked her up tenderly in my arms and carried her to our favorite spot. I wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and sat down next to her. I put my arm around her and held her tightly as she cuddled even closer into my side.
I don’t know how she knew; most of the day had been dull and grey, but that night we watched the horizon light up with the most spectacular sunset I think I had ever seen. I remember thinking that God must had gotten a new set of paints. As I held my love we watched the sun’s crown sink into the fading colors. Sandy raised her head, and with a smile, kissed my cheek.
"I love you so much," she said. Then laid her head on my chest.
"I love you too my darling," I said reaching around with my other hand and gently stroking the side of her face. Just then a small breeze played a beautiful tune on the chimes. As the heavenly composition fell silent Sandy took her last breath.
We were still sitting together when Ron came home and found us on the swing. My tear stained face told him the news.
A week after my dearest Sandy’s funeral I returned to her gravesite. With me I had a long iron rod with a sharp point on one end and a hook on the other. I drove the pointed end into the ground as far as I could next to her headstone until only about eighteen inches was left. Next I hung the beautiful crystal wind chimes from the hook.
"For you my dearest," I said out loud, "so that you may hear the gentle rain for ever hitting the wings of angels and you will always be reminded of the love and happiness we shared."
For about a month the family decided to put me on suicide watch. Oh, they never said that’s what they were doing, but it was pretty obvious. I had someone staying with me twenty-four-seven. Even Kris and Allen stayed for a couple days.
I’ve heard time heals all wounds…not so, it only allows you to live with the pain a little easier.
Someone once said, ‘the circle of life will not be broken.’ I guess that’s right. Later that year Catherine and her husband Peter gave me another grandson. Not long after that Ron found the girl of his dreams and took on the title of loving husband.
For a few years I still made an appearance at the studio every day but my heart was no longer in it, so I made Ron an offer to buy it and just pay me from the profits. Of course he jumped at it.
Over the last couple of years my kids had been after me to sell the house and move into an apartment where I didn’t have all the maintenance and yard work, but I’d never sell our home…never.
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I found myself still on my stomach as I, once again, slowly became conscious of my situation. I felt my body starting to shake violently as yet another agonizing bolt of pain seized my chest The odds of me making it were stacked against me. I had no body heat left and I could feel the cold down to my bones. I made another attempt to get closer to the house by reaching up and trying to claw my way another couple of inches but I had no strength left.
Maybe if I took one more short rest I thought. I closed my eyes and laid my cheek on the icy grass.
Suddenly it felt as if the pain was being lifted from my body, not just the pain in my chest but all the aches and soreness’s brought on by age as well. The cold in my bones gave way to an inner warmth. It was as if I had just gone back twenty years in time. I felt a peaceful calm that seemed to take over my very existence.
That’s when I heard them, the clear delicate tones of our crystal wind chimes. My whole body felt light as a feather as I rose from the frozen turf.
"Hi honey, I’ve been waiting for you." My heart pounded as I looked to my right. My darling Sandy sat on the swing reaching her hand out in my direction. She was whole again. There was no sign of the insidious disease that tortured her last months of life. Her beautiful hair shown like spun gold, her blue eyes sparkled like the stars, and a radiant glow surrounded her entire body. I rushed to her side and smothered her with kisses. I wrapped my arms around her and was determined to never let her go again.
I couldn’t begin to describe my feelings at that moment. "My darling I’ve missed you so very, very much," I told her.
Sandy’s smile seemed to melt my soul even more than it used to. "I know," she said softly, "but we’ll never have to miss each other again honey…never again. We have all of eternity together my love."
I heard the chimes ring out again as Sandy looked into my eyes and tenderly kissed my lips. "Look," she said as we turned toward the horizon. You could almost see his hand as God started painting the sky again. It was like a waterfall of brilliant colors cascading into a sea of clouds. There was every shade of red and yellow, pink and turquoise, blue and gold, more colors than I’ve ever seen before, and every one was lit up from behind making them glow with a richness that‘s hard to explain, almost as if we were watching from behind the sunset.
"Ooh, look how beautiful," Sandy said, "and I have the pleasure of watching with the man I love."
Just then, once again, the chimes sang joyously like I’d never heard them before. Sandy looked into my eyes. "Listen," she said, "the last chimes of fall." She stroked my cheek and gently kissed my lips. "It’s time to go home my darling."
I felt a joy I had never felt. I was free of guilt, free of all pain and sorrow, and my heart was free to love unconditionally. I looked at Sandy with a smile. "Let’s go home," I repeated, and returned her kiss.
A cold wind whipped in from the east but there were no chimes to announce its arrival, only the creaking sounds of the empty swing swaying in the breeze.
END
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